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Riddle me this:

What makes noise like a Walmart sandal but moves like a ghost through pain?

A warrior leaving the narcissist nest with a duffel bag and a mission.

 

---⚔️ Step 1: The Flip-Flop Whisper: It’s Time It begins quietly.

Like a whisper that sounds like:> “Yo... if we don’t leave soon, we’re gonna become background characters in our own life.” You feel it in your bones. You look around and everyone’s pretending the house isn’t on spiritual fire. You nod to yourself. It’s time to go. Cue thunder.

 

⚡Cue sandals squeaking. Cue mission music playing in your soul.

 

---🕶️ Step 2: Execute the Exit —

No Smile, No Speech, Just Go

You don’t explain a mission to the enemy. You don't say, "Hey, so just FYI, I’m spiritually dying and I'm gonna go find myself now."

Nah. You keep it brief.> "I gotta bounce." "I’m out." Or just vanish mid-laundry load.

 

Even if they catch you in the act — bags packed, flip-flops squeaking like a sad duck —you stay calm. You stay ninja.> No eye contact. No emotion. Just one spiritual katana slice. Like, “Thanks for the trauma. I’m good now.”

 

---👣 Step 3: Wobble Like a Warrior

Let’s be real. You might not float out like a Jedi Master. You might trip on the doormat, knock over a lamp, or forget your phone charger. Doesn’t matter. Real escape isn’t graceful — it’s done.> Wobble out of hell if you have to. Just don’t go back to grab your jacket.

 

---🧟‍♂️ Step 4: Expect the Hauntings (aka The Guilt Ghost Parade)

After you're gone, you’ll hear their voices in your head like spiritual spam calls:> “You abandoned us!” “You’re so selfish!” “You’ll regret this!” These are not messages. These are pop-up ads from the Matrix. Do not click. Just hit "Block," eat a granola bar, and train your silence like a loaded weapon.

 

---🐍 Step 5: Snakes in Family Clothing

Trying to hug a narcissist is like trying to cuddle a fax machine: cold, outdated, and always making weird noises. Stop waiting for warmth. They run on control, not connection. You’re not mean for leaving —You’re just done trying to hug venom into changing its chemistry.

 

---🪖 Step 6: Be the Riddle They’ll Never Solve They’ll ask each other:

> “Why’d they leave?” “What happened?” “Are they on drugs?” “Do you think it’s a phase?

”No, Karen. It’s called finally listening to the soul while eating tuna out of the can in a parking lot. It’s called awakening. Let them guess. You’re not a chapter in their story anymore. You’re the plot twist they didn’t see coming.

 

---🎤 Final Dropkick of Truth: You left because the house was full of mirrors that only showed who they wanted you to be. Now you walk in the wild. Now your presence says, "Access Denied."

> They don’t get to know you anymore. They don’t get to narrate your life. They don’t get to follow the scent of your footsteps — because you replaced them with thunder.

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---So, wobble in flip-flops. Trip over your own dignity. Eat gas station almonds for dinner. But don’t ever go back. You're free. You're rising. You're absurdly powerful. And somehow, even your exit soundtrack had thunder and sandals in harmony.